Have I Told You Read online

  He rested his head on my lap, wrapping his arms around my hips. I ran my hands through his damp hair. We sat like this for a long time.

  Realization hit as I thought about the night before. “Caston. Your parents. The club. Were they going to your club?”

  I felt him cringe as soon as I asked the question. He looked up at me and his eyes said it all. He didn’t even have to answer. Sitting back on his heels he nodded.

  My eyes went wide in horror. I don’t have my parents anymore, but to think of ones parents having sex wasn’t the most pleasant picture.

  “Are you at the club often? Are they? I just want to know what I’m getting into.”

  “Bre, honey, it is part of the image. I used to be promiscuous, but I’m not that man anymore. Ever since I saw you dance at the Winter Gala. Honey, you have to believe me, I haven’t been with anyone since then. I couldn’t get you out of my mind. Before you, well,” he looked away embarrassed, “I was there almost every night.”

  My mouth fell open in disbelief. “Every night?” “

  “I didn’t have sex every night. Most nights, yes, but it is my club. I had to be there, even if it was only to show my face.”

  I nodded.

  “Please, say something.”

  I wasn’t sure what exactly to say. I had so many questions, but I didn’t know where to start. So I said the first thing that came out of my mouth, “How often are your parents there?”

  “My parents?”

  “Yes, I’m assuming that’s the club they were referring too last night?”

  “Ya, well. My parents are complicated. I will tell you everything, but I need you to do something for me.”

  “What’s that?” I asked.

  His panty dropping smile snaked across his lips. I felt the heat in my stomach start to dip lower again. This man would be the death of me, if he could make me feel like this just from a smile.

  “You, either need to get out of this robe and dressed, or I’m going to rip it off of you and have my way with you, again.”

  I took a deep breath and bit my lower lip. I crossed my arms across my chest and brought one hand up to my chin, as if I was seriously considering what to do.

  “Hmm, decisions,” I said, as I tapped my chin. Two can play at this game. “Well, I guess I better get ready then.”

  I moved to stand up, but Caston let out a laugh, and tackled me back onto the bed. He slowly leaned down and lightly kissed my neck, while his hand parted the robe to allow himself in, slowly palming my breast. I licked my lips, concentrating on every feeling.

  His hand moved away from my breast. I whimpered at the loss. He used his finger to turn my head back toward him. His crystal blue eyes looked deep into my hazel eyes. I could feel his hot bulge, begging to be released. His hand returned to the robe, this time undoing the bow that was holding it closed. Leaning forward, he lightly kissed my lips, as the robe fell open. My skin instantly dotted with goose bumps. His fingers trailed lightly from my belly button to the top on my sex. Still lightly kissing me, his finger slowly dipped into my soft folds. Stroking me. My breath quickened, I bucked my hips trying to get him to move faster. My body ached to come.

  Suddenly there was a commotion outside the door. Both of our heads snapped to the door, and Caston covered me up with the robe.

  “Mrs. Holden! Mrs. Holden, you can’t go in there.”

  “Fuck off, Terrance!”

  “Mrs. Holden, stop.”

  I rolled to the side covering my face. Is this happening, again? Seriously? Caston was almost to the door when it burst open.

  “Caston, I demand you fire Terrance. He said you told him no visitors.” She walked over to him, put her hands on his chest, and got really close to his face. What the hell? Almost like a lover, not a mother…

  He tensed up when his mother’s hands landed on him, roaming his bare chest. I felt nauseated. I looked away, feeling like I was seeing something that I shouldn’t be seeing.

  “That is right, Mother. I said NO visitors, and I specifically mentioned you. What the fuck are you doing here? Again? Busting into my house unannounced.” I looked up at Terrance with a questioning eye.

  “Oh, baby, I’m so distraught.”

  He took her hands and removed them from his chest, like they were slimy. I had to put a hand over my mouth to stop from laughing out loud. I guess a little sound escaped. Her head flew over to where I was sitting on the bed in the robe.

  “You, again?” she huffed. “Caston, I can’t believe you are…”

  “Shut the fuck up, Mother. I know why you are here. It is exactly why I am being called into the club tonight. Get the hell out of my house, and never come over unannounced, again. Do you understand me?”

  “She is not like us, Caston. She can’t be what you need.”

  “But see, that’s what you do not understand, she is what I need.”

  Am I still in the room? She is talking like I’m not here. What is she talking about? What does he need that I’m not capable of giving him?

  Caston looked over her shoulder. “Terrance, please remove Mrs. Beverly Holden, and if she ever shows up unannounced, you have my permission to call the police.”

  She looked back toward him shocked. “Oh, honey, please, I’m so sorry.” She reached to touch his face. He recoiled, and nodded for her to be taken out of the room.

  “Damn it, Caston,” she said, as she was being led off by the elbow, “What are you going to do with Anthony and Allie?”

  Caston’s face reddened. He balled his hands into fists so tight his knuckles where white.

  He followed Terrance and his mother down the hall, screaming. “You know very well I have to dismiss them. Damn it, Mother! I should be dismissing you and Dad, too, but I can’t do that! I should, but the fucking drama that would cause…damn it, Mother!”

  I quickly got off the bed and headed to the closet to get dressed. I still heard yelling, as I was getting ready, but I couldn’t make out what they were saying.

  I put on a little sundress and my hair up in a messy ponytail on top of my head. I stepped back out in room. Caston was still nowhere to be found. I sat on the bed, waiting for him, again, same as I did the last time his mom busted in on us having sex. I had to find out what her deal was.

  Finally, he walked into room. “What the fuck, Caston?”

  He stopped dead in his tracks, looking at me, like a deer caught in the headlights of a car.

  “Last time I brought up your parents, you distracted me. Then your mom walks in on us, AGAIN. Seriously, if I am going to be in a relationship with you, and trust me I want to be, you have to tell me what is going on!” I got up and walked over to him. I poked him in the chest. “I love you, Caston. Damn it, I want to be there for you, but I can’t do that when you’re keeping things from me.” I turned around to walk back to the bed. “I want nothing more than for us to be honest with each other.”

  He walked over to me. I fully expected him to tell me to get the hell out of his life. Instead he stood in front of me, took my face in his hands, and laid the biggest kiss on me. I felt my body melt into his, I started to forget everything I had just said. Suddenly, my wits returned and I pushed him away. “No, no. You won’t distract me, again.”

  He dropped to his knees and pulled me down to him. “You said you love me.”

  Surprised, I looked down at him. “Oh, Caston, I do, I really do love you.” I sunk to the floor searching his face for answers. “Is that a shock to you?”

  He nodded slowly. “No one has ever loved me for who I really am.” His voice was filled with wonder and disbelief.

  I pulled him to my chest and held him close to me, stroking his hair. “I’ll tell you every minute of every day if I have to, Cass.”

  We sat on the floor wrapped up in each other’s arms for so long my legs started to fall asleep. I didn’t want to be the one to break our embrace. Caston needed me. I wasn’t sure why, but I wasn’t going to let him down.

  Finally, h
e started to move back. Looking incredibly worried and slightly ill he said, “I’ll tell you about my parents, but I won’t be able to finish it before we have to leave for tonight. Are you sure you want to attend with me? “

  “You couldn’t stop me if you tried,” I smiled.

  The smile that spread across his face was so childlike it warmed my heart. He stood up and reached his hand out to help me up.

  I smiled and took it, saying, “This is familiar.”

  She’d just told me she loves me and agreed to put herself out to the world as my other half. Floating on cloud nine, I pulled her up and into my arms. I pushed a tendril of hair that had escaped her ponytail behind her ear and brushed her cheek with my thumb. “You’re risking so much by being with me. Are you crazy?”

  “Crazy for you,” she replied with a light kiss.

  Holding her, I nuzzled my face in her neck. She smelled so good. I felt myself getting hard for her. I couldn’t get enough of my sweet girl. And just like that I felt like someone punched me in the gut. What had I done promising to tell her about my parent’s history and my past? Where was I going to start? It was so complicated…and fucked up.

  Backing out of her embrace, I needed to take a breather. “Let me get a shirt on, so we can leave.”

  A sly smile crept onto my face, as I pictured her in a sexy outfit tonight and my cock started to defy me, again.

  “What?” she asked tentatively.

  “Nothing, I’m picturing you in all the naughty stuff I’m going to buy you.”

  She blushed and looked away. “Caston, you’re bad.”

  I walked to the closet to get a t-shirt, my heart was beating a million miles a minute. I couldn’t keep her in the dark. I had to be honest with her. I had to figure out the easiest way, so I wouldn’t scare her away.

  Once inside my closet, I took a deep breath, removed my cell phone from the pocket of my jeans, and quickly dialed the store attached to the Sweetheart Club.

  “Caston, darling, how are you?” the sweet voice cooed when she saw my number on the caller ID.

  I didn’t have time for small talk, so I got straight to my point. “Hey, Sara, I am going to need you to clear out the upstairs in about an hour. I am bringing my new girl in, and I want it all to ourselves.”

  “Sure. I’ll work on that right now.”

  “We will be coming in the back, so we can have the car ready in the garage for the club tonight.”

  “Gotcha. So how have you been? Your brother misses you. He said the club was crazy last night.”

  “I know. Mother causing problems, again. I am so pissed at her. I actually threw her out of my house this morning for walking in on us unannounced, again.”

  “Not, again. Oh my word. Will you be here tonight? Masquerade night is always a huge hit!”

  “Yes. I have to clean up the shit Mother caused last night. Plus, I can’t wait to see Sabrina in a mask.”

  “Oh, the mystery girl has a name.” I could hear her heels, as she walked through the store. “Is this the same Sabrina from the gala? I can’t wait to meet her, Cass.”

  “Very funny, Sara. Be nice, okay? I think she is the one.” I said, as I pulled my shirt over my head.

  “No! Mr. Most Eligible Bachelor, off the market, for ‘The One’?” she gasped and laughed.

  I had to laugh with her. It sounded weird, but it didn’t feel weird. The thought made a smile spread across my face.

  “I know. I can’t wait for you to meet her. See you in an hour.”

  “See ya, Cass.”

  Looking in the mirror I rumpled my hair, grabbed my keys, and headed back out to the room. She was sitting on the bed cross legged, looking through her phone. I stopped. She was so perfect. She must have felt me staring, because she looked up into my eyes and smiled.

  “Ready?”

  “Yup.”

  She climbed off the bed and slid on her heeled sandals. Her legs looked magnificent. Shaking my head, I said, “Let’s get out of here before I throw you on the bed and never let you go.”

  She laughed. I grabbed her hand and we headed down the stairs to the garage.

  It was a beautiful day, but we needed to talk, so I decided on the Jeep. Opening her door and helping her in, I took a deep breath. This is it, I thought to myself, my biggest, deepest secret.

  “Lunch, then shopping, since we skipped breakfast. Sound like a plan?”

  “Lunch with talking, and then shopping with talking.” She corrected me.

  “Yes, Bre,” I said, leaning over to kiss her cheek, “No worries. I plan on telling you everything, but when we’re shopping I want you to just enjoy. Okay?”

  She turned toward me and nodded with a big smile on her face.

  I patted her on the knee and pulled out onto the road. I could tell she was nervous about what I was going to say. Hell, I was nervous. Only a few people knew my secret.

  We drove for a little while in silence. I wasn’t sure exactly where to start.

  “Okay, Sabrina, what I am about to tell you, I trust you to never reveal this to anyone. In all honesty, if my lawyer found out I was telling you this without signing a NDA, he would have my head on a platter.”

  She shifted to turn herself toward me, so that I knew I had her undivided attention. “Caston, I would never tell anyone.”

  Taking a deep breath, I started. “My parents have an open marriage. I was brought up in that lifestyle. They had parties, and people over all the time. Ever since I was a young teenager I have been attending these parties. I mean, like starting at about thirteen, maybe? I don’t know, it’s been a long time.”

  I sneaked a quick glance to see how she was handling this so far. Now she was the one looking like a deer in the headlights, but when she saw me looking at her, she gave me a reassuring smile.

  “My brother, Jon, is five years older than me. He was already attending them. I didn’t want to be cooped up by myself anymore, so one night I snuck downstairs. To say I was shocked would be an understatement. I hid in the corner and watched everything. I felt so many things I’d never felt before. It scared and excited me to watch all the couples. When I went back up to bed that night, I laid in bed staring at the ceiling with the biggest hard on.”

  I let out a small nervous chuckle. “I think that is the first time I masturbated.”

  Thankfully, she thought that was funny, too, because she let out a chuckle before she covered her mouth to hide her smile.

  “Glad you find that funny.”

  “I’m so sorry,” she reached over to touch my forearm, “I didn’t mean to laugh.”

  I smiled and laughed. “I’m messing with you. I know it’s funny.”

  “Jerk.”

  “Ha! Anyway, my brother came in to check on me that night. He knew what was up. Poor guy, trying to be the parent when he was only a few years older. He gave me the sex talk and told me about how wonderful it was.”

  “Really?” she asked astonished. “So, you had sex when you were thirteen?”

  “Oh, no, probably fifteen. I just went to the parties and watched, then went upstairs and jerked off. When I was fifteen, I was tall enough to pass for eighteen, so the couples that wanted threesomes felt that it was okay to include me, because they thought I was older, or at least that’s how they justified it to themselves.”

  “Oh, well then...”

  “I can’t believe that you’re being so okay with this.”

  “Caston, I love you. I’m trying to be open minded. You are being truthful with me. What more can I ask for? But I don’t think that was right for a young boy.”

  “Say it again.” I looked over to her and grabbed her hand.

  “What?” she looked confused.

  “Say it again, say you love me.”

  “I love you,” she sighed and smiled.

  I brought her hand to my lips and kissed the back of her hand lightly.

  “We’re here.”

  She turned to look out the window. “Here?”


  I brought her to the Little Grass Shack. It was a little hole in the wall restaurant with must have fabulous to-die-for food. I nodded. “Best food on the east coast.”

  I got out of the car and walked to her side to open the door. I saw her put her sunglasses on before she got out of the vehicle.

  It was a beautiful spring day, the sun was shining, the flowers were in bloom, and it was unseasonably warm. I couldn’t wait to eat outside with her while we looked over the beautiful state park.

  I took her hand and led her to the outdoor seating. “Do you think this will be okay?” She sounded nervous.

  “Sabrina, trust me, no one will look for us here. Ed has never called me out to the paparazzi. He is a good guy, we can trust him.”

  I saw her visibly relax the moment I said we were in the clear.

  Pulling out her chair, I kissed her neck as she sat down.

  “Caston! My man! I haven’t seen you in a few months. Where the fuck have you been?” Ed yelled when he stepped out onto the patio.

  He was a burly, hefty man, with greasy black hair that was slicked back. The tattoos up and down each arm were intimidating and he had a slight limp in his walk. He wasn’t someone you would want to meet in a dark alley if you didn’t know who he was, but in all honestly Ed was the biggest teddy bear you would ever meet.

  “Ed, long time, no see.” I met him when he was almost to the table and gave him a big slap-on-the-back hug.

  “You son of a bitch, I thought you forgot about us.”

  “Never. Ed, I’d like you to meet someone.”

  I turned to walk him over to the table. “Ed, this is Sabrina Bennett. Sabrina this is Ed, owner of this shack.”

  She reached out her hand and tried to stand up. Ed, the gentleman that he is, stopped her. “The pleasure is all mine, ma’am. Please, don’t get up on my account.”

  She smiled.

  I sat down next to her and took her hands in mine. “Ed, we would like whatever is on special and some privacy.”

  “Sure thing, man. It was a pleasure to meet you, honey. Hope this a-hole brings you by to visit us again.”

  She squeezed my hand. “I hope so, too,” she responded.